“I deliberately and intentionally picked him. I needed to find someone who had as much skin in the game as I did (married with kids). He was someone who I knew was interested in me prior to my marriage. I knew he was married but I strongly suspected he would be game as we hadn’t seen each other for years but he always kept in contact. I had moved back into the city where he and his family lived. I simply called him and asked him to meet for a drink. He vacillated at first ― I really shouldn’t and so on.
Finally, I said, ‘Look don’t come, I don’t care, it’s just drinks.’ He met me later that night. At the end of the night, it was him who stopped me while I was walking away and kissed me. Our relationship lasted seven years. To this day, he doesn’t know he was intentionally chosen.” ― Anne J.
“In a nutshell how did it happen? I was lonely and married to an addict. I reached out on Craigslist, to simply have someone in the same boat to talk to. I didn’t care if it was a man or woman; I wasn’t looking to have an affair. I never hid the fact I was married. Mainly because, like I said, I wasn’t looking to cheat. Conversations led to genuinely caring about this stranger.
Caring led to wanting to know more over time. Time led to really getting to know each other. We had conversations that may have crossed the line but is just talking to someone cheating? Yes and no. If our spouses knew what was going on, I’d say no, but they didn’t know, so it was a betrayal. We finally met and things got complicated.
There were feelings we couldn’t ignore. Both of us had issues with our spouses, we both realized our needs weren’t being met at home but calling off our marriages was impossible since we both had kids. We’ve physically stopped seeing each other these days but we talk often. We’ve never said goodbye.” ― Melanie M.
“The guy was my ex. We had just completed the remodel of our house when he decided to break up with me [and move out.] He said he loved me but he needed time to work on his issues and still wanted to be friends. Two months later, I had plumbing problems and started staying at a mutual friend’s house down the street.
My ex called me upset that I would be there. I pointed out that if it bothered him he could have invited me to stay in his guest bedroom. (We were an on-again, off-again couple but I had stopped dating him a few months earlier so we were officially ‘off again.’) He said I couldn’t because he had a friend staying for the week. Upon questioning, he admitted she was actually his girlfriend and had been living there with him for over a year. He then said all the typical things: It’s not what it seems, she’s not really my girlfriend. One night a few weeks later, he was still texting trying to get me to come back.
I asked him where his girlfriend was. His answer: ‘Right next to me, asleep in bed.’ That was that. Oh, and that mutual friend I was staying with? He’s now my husband. Everything happens for a reason. Big thank you to the universe for that leak and opening my eyes to possibilities.” ― Michelle D.